If you’ve spent more than five minutes in a bourbon Facebook group, you’ve likely witnessed a few recurring characters. Maybe you’ve laughed. Maybe you’ve cringed. Maybe you’ve been personally victimized by someone selling a bottle of Blanton’s for $400 “firm.”
Welcome to the beautiful, ridiculous, and obsessively judgmental world of online bourbon communities — where opinions are strong, pours are flexed, and everyone secretly thinks their bunker is better than yours.
Let’s take a lighthearted look at the seven types of people you’re almost guaranteed to encounter in a bourbon Facebook group. And by the end, you’ll probably realize... you’re at least two of them.
Catchphrase: “Price is secondary average — check the Bourbon Blue Book®.”
Ah yes, the Flipper — capitalism incarnate. He doesn’t buy bottles to drink, he buys them to “reallocate inventory.” He’s got 3 unopened Blanton’s, 2 OF Birthday Bourbons, and a dusty bottle of Old Crow that he swears is worth $900 because it’s from 1987 (even though it’s half-evaporated and came from an attic in Texas).
You’ll usually spot him posting grainy pics with “ISO” (with a cute deer emoji referencing “bucks” or the cash amount that he’s looking for), followed by an endless string of acronyms and zip codes. He’ll tell you it’s “priced to sell” — even though it’s $150 over retail with another $25 shipping fee built into his calculus.
Drink of Choice: Whatever’s hot on secondary, but he’s not opening it.
Secret Shame: He’s never tasted half the bottles he posts to flip…or any of them sometimes.
Catchphrase: “Eagle Rare is trash. Fight me.”
The Troll lives for chaos. He doesn’t care what you like — in fact, the more you like it, the more he’ll attack it. Post a picture of your new Weller Full Proof and he’ll reply “Overrated wheater for beginners.” Share your excitement about finally scoring a bottle of E.H. Taylor? “Boring. Tastes like wood chips and broken dreams.”
He doesn’t want to learn or share; he wants blood in the comment section. Bonus points if he triggers a 40-comment argument about why Maker’s Mark is “objectively garbage.”
Drink of Choice: Probably Wild Turkey 101 — and he’ll die on that hill.
Secret Shame: He cried the first time he opened a bottle of Pappy. Never told anyone.
Catchphrase: [no known vocalizations]
This person hasn’t posted in the group since joining 3 years ago. But they’ve seen everything. They know who the admins are, who got booted for scamming, and who has a secret bunker in Nebraska.
They read every tasting note, every argument, and every pricing thread. But their only contribution? Occasionally hitting the “like” button. If they do ever post, it’s usually their first bottle of Buffalo Trace with the caption: “Finally found this! Worth the hype?”
Drink of Choice: What everyone else says is good. And that’s okay.
Secret Shame: They’ve never had anything over 100 proof and are too afraid to ask what “non-chill filtered” means.
Catchphrase: “I drink what I like. Don’t care if it’s ‘hyped’ or not.”
Usually found in a recliner, wearing Crocs, and sipping Elijah Craig Small Batch like it’s a fine wine. The Dad Pourer has no time for your “tasting notes of toasted marshmallow and Luxardo cherry skin.” He’s here for good whiskey at a good price, preferably found at Costco while buying bulk socks.
He’s not above drinking Evan Williams Bottled-in-Bond and telling you it’s “just as good as Stagg.” He’s not wrong — but you still won’t admit it.
Drink of Choice: Heaven Hill value brands and anything under $50.
Secret Shame: He actually does like Blanton’s but won’t admit it after the internet ruined it.
Catchphrase: “Just a casual Tuesday pour. Thoughts?”
This is the guy posting 9-bottle lineups of BTAC and Pappy for “game night.” He includes tasting notes with fancy adjectives like “viscous mouthfeel” and “mid-palate pop.” He’s probably got a Glencairn in every room of the house, including the bathroom.
He owns a custom-built bourbon shelf, complete with LED lights and a security camera. He will casually refer to a pour as “dusty Turkey 12 from the ‘92 run” like we’re all supposed to know what that means.
Drink of Choice: Anything rare, limited, and photogenic.
Secret Shame: Poured half a bottle down the drain once because the cork disintegrated in it — cried silently, never told the wife.
Catchphrase: “Well, actually, that bottle was sourced from distillery XYZ before distillery ABC l bought the DSP.”
This person knows more about distilleries than most brand ambassadors. They can name the master distiller from every major Kentucky label going back to 1954. They’ve read every Chuck Cowdery article and have strong opinions about the Beam family tree.
They’ll correct your post about Old Fitzgerald with a 3-paragraph breakdown of its acquisition history and remind you that “Elijah Craig Barrel Proof used to be better before Batch B517.”
Drink of Choice: Pre-fire Heaven Hill or dusty Stitzel-Weller.
Secret Shame: Has 11 Google Docs just for tracking rickhouse rotations.
Catchphrase: “Where can I find Blanton’s in my area?”
We were all here once. The Newbie is excited, enthusiastic, and a bit naïve. They post hauls from grocery store shelves with childlike wonder: “First time seeing E.H. Taylor!” Everyone else yawns, but deep down, we remember what that felt like.
They don’t yet know about store picks, and think anything with gold wax must be fancy. They’ll learn — after getting burned in a secondary trade and realizing that $120 for a Weller 12 isn’t a “steal.”
Drink of Choice: Anything with a horse, a tube, or a foil top.
Secret Shame: Hasn’t realized that a good bourbon doesn’t need a hype sticker.
Odds are, you’re a mix of at least two or three. Maybe you lurk Monday through Friday but troll on Saturdays. Maybe you started as a Newbie, turned into a Show-Off, and now have slowly transformed into a Dad Pourer with “too many bottles and not enough time.”
And that’s the beauty of the bourbon Facebook ecosystem — we’re all a little ridiculous, a little obsessive, and a little thirsty (literally and figuratively). Whether you’re flipping bottles, pouring bottom-shelf gems, or just trying to figure out what “cask strength” really means — there’s a spot for you.
Just don’t list Blanton’s for $250 and call it a deal. We will roast you.
At the end of the day, bourbon is about more than labels, likes, or likes per label. It’s about sharing something good, learning something new, and finding the people who won’t judge you for having three open bottles of the same Elijah Craig pick.
So pour something decent, log into that group, and scroll away — because your people are out there, lurking, flexing, flipping, or just chilling in their recliners.
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